Can I value someone without needing them?
Yes, depending on what you mean by need. If "need" means helpless dependency (eg, "I cannot be okay, know who I am, or regulate myself without you."), then yes, you can and should value someone without needing them in that sense. Love is healthier when it is not built on fear, fusion, or emotional survival.
But if "need" means a real requirement for a specific value or life context, the answer changes. A child needs reliable care. A marriage needs trust, affection, communication, and repair. A close friendship needs time, honesty, and mutual goodwill. A person may not need one particular adult as a metaphysical condition of survival, but they may genuinely need connection, intimacy, and dependable relationships for a fully human life.
The important distinction is between valuing someone and using them as your source of identity. You can value a spouse, friend, child, mentor, or training partner because of who they are, what you share, and what they make possible in your life. That is different from treating them as the thing that rescues you from selfhood. Differentiation helps preserve both closeness and independence: You can be deeply connected without becoming psychologically fused.
A practical test is whether the relationship expands your life or narrows it. Do you become more honest, alive, responsible, and anchored in your own judgment? Or do you become more fearful, dependent, self-abandoning, and unable to tolerate ordinary separateness? The standard is not needing no one; it is building relationships where need, want, and value are honest, proportionate, and integrated.