Am I trying to earn rest instead of allowing it?
If rest feels acceptable only after exhaustion, punishment, or perfect productivity, you may be treating recovery as something you must earn. That mindset often leads to under-recovery and resentment.
Rest is part of the system that makes action possible. You do not earn sleep by suffering enough. You need sleep because you are a living organism.
A useful question to ask yourself is "What recovery is required for me to keep acting well?". That is a reality question, not a moral indulgence.